To win is to live

On May 17^th we leave the Base Camp early in the morning. As the weather gets warmer and warmer, the Icefall becomes more dangerous. The entire “river of ice blocks” slowly starts to flow down to the Khumbu Glacier. It is much safer to climb it very early in the morning.

For the final ascent to Camp 2 we are joined by several other teams. Although down in Western Cwm the weather is good, the thin clouds at the summits of Lhotse (in front) and Everest (left) indicate low temperatures and high winds. Our chances for the summit look rather bad.

After spending a few days in Camp 2, the team makes and unsuccessful summit attempt on May 19^th. Because the weather forecast predicts summit temperature at -35°C and wind speed at 60 km/hour, I decide to wait for better weather conditions in Camp 2. Unfortunately for me there is not enough food at Camp 2 and after a few days of starvation I am forced to return to the Base Camp. All the benefits of my trip to Periche are gone and my weight is down by about 25 lbs. I feel tired both physically and mentally.

I do not have time to try to descent again and to recover my strength. The climbing season is rapidly ending. Most of the other teams have by now abandoned climbing and returned to Kathmandu. The Icefall will be officially closed sometimes in the first week of June. After that date it is too dangerous for the Icefall Sherpas to maintain the route. On May 26^th we decide to make one more push for the summit. If the weather improves by May 30^th or 31^st we make get lucky, otherwise it will be the end of the expedition. I ask our Sirdar Nima Temba to help me with the climb to Camp 2. We leave at 5:30 am to avoid the sun. After about 4.5 hours we are at the top of the Icefall. The Western Cwm is fully exposed to the sun and the effective temperature approaches +30°C. My climbing pace decreases significantly. Nima is not happy with that and tries to motivate me to move faster. The only way I can do it is by following his example and forgetting to use the safety rope in less exposed places. For the moment everything works ok.

I am facing a small crevasse, not more than 75 cm wide. I grab the safety rope with my hand and make a big step forward. Unfortunately my boot lands right on the edge of the crevasse, which immediately collapses under my weight. “What a stupid way to die” – this thought flashes through my mind as I start to fall. Suddenly my fall stops and all I can hear is a sound of snow gently falling on my head and my breathing. I cannot believe my luck. After falling for about 15 meters, I landed on a small ice shelf protruding from the wall of the crevasse. It is just big enough to accommodate both of my boots and thick enough to stop my fall. Quick checking reveals that nothing is broken and nothing hurts. In a few minutes a head of a Sherpa appears in an opening. I ask him to throw me a rope so that I can get out. However, my supper luck continues. Jim Williams, who has been climbing all day about 100 meters ahead of me, returns back to help me. He has been climbing on Everest for the last 20 years and is quite prepare for such accidents. In a few minutes, a rope with a block and carabiner extends down the wall just about to where I am standing. I clip my harness and relax a bit. Jim and four passing Sherpas (another lucky coincident) quickly pull me out of the crevasse. Unfortunately, I am still on the wrong side of the crevasse and even with full protection, it takes me about five minutes to decide to step again across it. This time nothing happens.  I am physically all right but scared almost to death. The remaining trip to Camp 2, which normally takes about 2 hours, this time takes 4 hours. Finally, I reach the safety of my tent. I try to analyze the accident and the more I think about it the more I am convinced that it just was not my time yet. I am not sure whether to consider this miracle as a proverbial warning shot across my bow or an indication of some divine assistance. I try to rest but wake up with a nightmare that I am dead and all things after the accident are just a dream. What a weird feeling.

Next morning my conditions are getting worse. I feel weak and have difficulties negotiating a few steps from my tent to the dining tent. I am unable to eat. It is clear that I am in no position to continue the climb. The chances of another accident are quite high. I sit in front of my tent and tears just flow down my cheeks. I cry with frustration on the weather, because is so lousy, on the mountain, because is so difficult and unforgiving, and mostly on myself for being such an old and useless wreck. A lifetime of dreams is ending without even a try to reach the summit.

In the afternoon I manage to visit Urszula Tokarska. She is from Toronto and is climbing with Jim Williams’s team. This is her second attempt on Everest. She will be the first Canadian woman to complete the Seven Summits Quest, second Polish woman to accomplish the same and third Canadian woman to summit Mount Everest. She is in fantastic conditions and completely focused on the forthcoming task. I have no doubts that this time she will easily get to the top. Ula agrees to take my flags and relays them to the top. We are going to meet in Toronto after the expeditions.

Next day I can hardly control myself seeing the others continuing their summit bid. After breakfast, Nima and I decent back to the Base Camp. I can barely move and the trip takes more than 5 hours.